Friday, July 29, 2005

Ivins Blesses Troubletown; Others Differ

Wow, check it out, Molly Ivins mentions Troubletown in her column on the wreckage of the Bush economy. The column even has "Trouble" in the headline! That doesn't happen every day. But before I could get comfortable with my new bigger head, I was brought back down to earth by the messages I found that conclude that I SUCK BIGTIME:

I know that OC Weekly is a far-left publication, but your racist depiction of Condoleezza Rice in a political cartoon with big lips and bucked teeth goes over the line [Lloyd Dangle's Troubletown]. I am a 50-year-old, African-American male who used to be a Jimmy Carter Democrat and was just as left as you guys are in my beliefs. But you guys have gone too far. Your hate-filled commentary and racist cartoons do nothing but expose your true character. You guys keep on running people away from the left and into the arms of the Republicans. Wise up and grow up, or you will be such a minority in this country no one is going to give a damn what you say.
––Kelvin Brown
Fountain Valle

Here's the offending cartoon. You be the judge. (And Don't forget to visit to play "Offendo")

This one was from my guestbook, which automatically turns swear words (some anyway) into #%@&'s:

Put all you liberal commies on a friggin' boat and sink the SOB!
GITMO Rules! We should beat those @#%$! 24/7 with rubber hoses and electrical shocks up their anus! They are scum and they suck! They have no frickin' rights! The pussies don't even wear a goddamned uniform! And they expect Geneva Convention protection? @#%$! them! @#%$! you for supporting the liberal commie media @#%$! too! You suck and so does your @#%$! asswipe cartoon @#%$!! You suck asshole! @#%$! You!
@#%$! You
Idiotic Thoughts:
@#%$! you more!
I've got plenty

This one is from an important comics interview:
Newspaper comics today, and newspapers in general, do suck pretty hard. I tend to think that they have been co-opted by the politically-correct liberal media which force rules and quotas onto everything, and simply censor anything that doesn't fit their ...blah, blah, blah,... Aaron Mcgruder is another dupe, keeping blacks down with his kneejerk opinions. He just enables Democrats to keep taking the black vote for granted. They know they don't have to work for what blacks...blah, blah, blah,...Garry Trudeau is better than most, but essentially a lap dog to...blah, blah, blah...And don't even get me started on Lloyd Dangle. I used to really enjoy his Troubletown strip. It used to have balance but now it's obvious he's just carrying water for the liberals, who, after all, pay his salary.
Cartoonist, Rick Altergott

Yep, It's the money that keeps me from singing the praises of Karl Rove and Rick Santorum. And finally here's one from my email bag:

I came across your cartoon on a leaflet handed out by the Amherst Vigil and thought it was a good satirical take-off of those interested in debunking science. The last panel troubled me, however, as it seemed to imply that flowers are pollinated by "sexually active bees". While it's true that flowers are pollinated by bees, it is during the bees' quest for pollen, and is entirely a chance by-product of that activity, whereby pollen from the "male" part of one plant gets brushed off onto the "female" part of another plant. The bees that accomplish this pollination are workers, which are not sexually active. The only sexual activity engaged in by bees happens between drones and queens, and has nothing to do with plants.

Ordinarily I would ignore this faux pas but, since you were acting in the guise of critic of those ignorant of science, it behooves you to get the science right.
––Warren Hubley

To the last one, I penned this response:
Mr. Hubley,
Thank you for your message, however I must disagree. If you and a partner, or you alone for that matter, were aided in a sexual act by another consenting individual (bee), would you not describe that individual as also having a "sexually active" role in the transaction? Perhaps you would demean that individual as merely a "worker," in your case a "sex worker," as they are called, but it would be difficult to know and arrogant to assume to know the complex nature of the desires that drive that individual's actions. The same is true for bees, sir!
––Lloyd Dangle

So my emotional scorecard looks like this: One Molly Ivins FOR Troubletown. One offended Jimmy Carter African American, one second-rate cartoonist, one foul-mouthed right winger, and one beekeeper AGAINST Troubletown. That's not too bad.

Introducing Licensing Mega-Sensation, Lil Hoes

Inspired by the recent crop of lip-enhanced, pre-teen girl characters, flaunting hot little bodies and trashy, skin-tight outfits, Lloyd Dangle filled a sketchbook with "concepts" that disturbed his friends, but ultimately developed into the fluffy, fleshy, femdoll licensing mega-sensation for 2005––Lil Hoes!

Until now, licensors and manufacturers have skated right up to the line, but Lil Hoes are the first and only female action characters to identify themselves as actual prostitutes! They work street corners, they advertise on the internet, they use pagers for what they were actually intended for, and they hang out in a mod penthouse apartment rented for them by Maurice (sold separately).

The potential for accessorizing Lil Hoes is virtually endless; not only in fabric and molded plastic, clothes, shoes, hair extensions, and jewelry, but also in a "ho-specific" line of products, consisting of cosmetics, prophylactics, miniature intravenous drug works, and straight razors. Contact Lloyd Dangle for information on licensing this hot property.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

I'm Back!

Wow, it's been ages since I updated this sucker, and the people have been letting me hear about it too. C'mon, give me a break! You don't know how badly I've been ravaged by flus and unknown maladies from my son's germ-infested preschool. One after another, my wife and I have been pounded by viruses, infections, bacterias, and various forms of gastro-intestinal turmoil. It's been a time of heavy travel too, and the hemorrhoidal suffering that ensues. New York City for the Surtex and Stationery Shows––a few mind-numbing days under the sodium lights at the Javitz Center––then a week back home with my in-laws eating nothing but bulgoki and bibibbap––and then back to New York for the International Licensing show at the Javitz again! Airborne lent me their germ costumes, so one day I walked the show as a giant germ. The crowds barely batted an eye. New Yorkers and entertainment executives aren't surprised by a six foot tall flu germ. On the last day it felt like I was freezing while everybody else was sweating their asses off. Something was wrong. Boom! My eighth flu of the year! Vomit, diarrhea, and five hours on a plane. I stayed in bed for most of the next week and got back down to my Weight Watchers goal. Then there was our camping trip in the Sierras and the Illustration Conference in San Francisco. Oh, hell, why not just show the sketches?

The Licensing Show