Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Scooter Took One for the Team

Scooter is going down for Dick C. and the Bushies and Anna Nicole is temporarily out of the top news slot. The right wingers are going nuts imagining Scooter, (one of the good guys!), in lockup, and they're sounding the call for a pardon. My theory: Cheney planned to let Scooter take the hit, order a filet mignon , and not give it another thought (like he did when he shot his friend in the face). But Scooter was the wrong guy to pick on, not only because he looks like a gangster out of a Dick Tracy comic, but because he knows all about pardons, having been the lawyer to rich and famous pardon-seekers in a past life. In the opening defense statement, Libby's lawyer accused Cheney and Karl Rove of making him the fall guy and strongly suggesting that they would call Cheney to the stand and dig up all the sleazy, illegal, and embarrassing details of the administration's attack team. That's what you call a "negotiating position." Then something odd happened in the middle of the trial when Libby's defense team (the best that money can buy) suddenly dropped No wonder the jury was confused!

The deal: Keep your mouth shut. Take the hit. Drag out the appeals process. In jail, just keep with the other Republicans; there's safety in numbers. We'll pardon your ass, Scootie, as soon as it's politically feasible. When released, Scooter gets: the best medical care possible, Thai prostitutes, a boat, an island, an offshore personality, several secret identities, house in Nantucket, and a forklift palette of untraceable Iraq rebuilding money each for him and his wife.

Meanwhile, Cheney will be looking for a way to renege on the deal, and, if he finds one, then of course he'll double-cross his former chief of staff in a second.

Oh, and if you Google "Libby" you will discover that Libby's 100% Pure Pumpkin in a can is delicious.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

HMMMM... you get a hanging liberal judge who will ignore the evidence that you did nothing...and YOU get lynched.
Everybody knows that A) the woman was like a routine secretary for the CIA B) LOTS of people knew she worked for the CIA and C) a newspaper columnist "OUTED" the woman months before Scooter casually mentioned her. D) all this came out at the "trial".

12:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Sex of the Newt
One thing that is pretty funny(1) about the presidential race here with twenty months to go before the election, is Newt Gingrinch's early admission of shameful infidelity(2), the horny old bastard adulterously banging a slice on the side during the witchhunt of President Clinton. Tell me, how does the big apple-headed rightwing twit get so much pooosy(3)? Every time one of his wives gets cancer or has a nervous breakdown, ol' Newt is already two steps ahead of her––his hat hanging on the bedpost of another young ingenue!(4) Bill Clinton's behavior looks charmingly naive and innocent by comparison.(5) You'll remember his famous quote (paraphrased from memory here) "I had always been just a fat kid in big-boy jeans until I became president, and then––goll-eee! I could have any woman I wanted!" He was just a fat kid just lookin' to get a little attention. I don't know, Newt probably had a pair of those jeans too. He used to be a campus nerd with coke-bottle glasses and mutton chops. I guess I can sort of see how girls might feel sorry for him...(6)

But what's funny (7) is that the moral scold (8) starts out twenty months before the election outing himself as a lecherous creep (9)so that the voters will be innoculated (10)over the long, grinding campaign. (11)He's betting even the most righteous christians (12) will be as gullible (13) as the broken-hearted women (14)along the Gingrich trail of tears. (15)
Labels: adultery, Clinton, impeachment, Newt
posted by Lloyd Dangle at 7:08
(1) As in HaHa We Gocha Ya Letch...As a Republican, YOU are supposed to RESIGN and slink away in SHAME with your head hung LOW...only Democrats since Gary Hart died as a candidate for OUR sins NOT YOURS maafuu...
(2) Naughty Naughty, you were after THE PRESIDENT OUR PRESIDENT, His Holiness, for what YOU have DONE! See (1).
(3) Are you jealous that Newt can score MORE...MORE than YOU, Ya Dangleberry! ERR Dingleberry!?!?!
(4) another young ingenue...ya scum...yo wife was SICKO...and didn't say you could do it in writing AS LONG as she didn't find out!
(5) "Bill Clinton's behavior looks charmingly naive and innocent by comparison" ...Adultery is less adultery...if you can pull off
"naive and innocent" by being a GUILTY Democrat? Lying about it! Besides Newt didn't say it "I did not have sex with that woman (good looking. long-legged Mondale daughter GRAAAWWWWLLLL, PANT, PANT, DROOL, DROOL that showed up same day that Monica did a pizza delivery by another way in)...Ms Lewinsky!
(6) Feel sorry for HIM?...that glasses nerd was HILLARY. How did you get them MIXED UP? YOU saw the college picture! OH...they BOTH had long hair and THAT confused you...HE was the taller one in the picture...NO GLASSES!
(7)'re like the buzzards tasting the dead clown in the desert? Does this taste FUNNY to you?
(8) Gettin "moral scold" confused with "clearing the air and fessing up to "shortcomings", since Democrats tend to LIE and COVER-UP and abuse women who complain about being "hit on" as "crazy", "women scorned", and "gold diggers" and files under "bimbo outbreaks" to be handled by paid te detectives and "concerned friends".
(9) "uting himself as a lecherous creep"? When women want your attention, you are a lecherous creep but when they REBUFF
your unwanted advances...and ordering telephone number are just acting naturally?
(10) Voters innoculated? Oh like going on TV with your wife Hillary and lying together about a 12 year affair YOU had with Jennifer Flowers, a sexy torch singer?
(11 "long, grinding campaign"...?...what KIND of GRINDING?
(12 You spell Christians with a small "c" do you also spell Muslims with a small "m"? Or are you SCARED?
(13 Gullible as in believing that the Vincent Foster episode was a "do-it-to-yourselfer" when he never shot himself with ONE gun much less TWO!
(14 Broken-hearted women? Is that like touching a widow in hallway inappropriately because you think she has "unmet needs"? Or bragging to your bodyguards about a conquest when you know she rebuffed you when you crassly asked her to kiss something you were showing her?
(15) "Gingrich trail of tears"...did we miss romething...did a woman SUE him and collect MONEY because he EMBARASSED her and made her lose her job when she refused his "charming and naive" approach?


12:56 PM  

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