Thursday, December 10, 2009

10 Steps to Becoming a Better Communicator

Another helpful article for you entrepreneurs:

1. Remove marbles and other objects from your mouth before speaking

2. Always place your hand affectionately on the shoulder of the person you’re speaking to

3. Use an unctuous, ingratiating tone at all times

4. Use the words FREE OFFER, FREE OFFER liberally whenever you speak

5. Record a half hour of intelligent conversation on a small device that you wear under your collar; learn to lip synch

6. Avoid monotone: Alternate between deep/throaty and high/squeaky

7. Before speaking to a group, pound a heavy object against a hard surface as loudly at possible to indicate that you’re ready to start

8. Use outlandishly broad pantomime gestures to give your words visual impact

9. Use at least three multi-syllable words per sentence, it doesn’t matter if they’re relevant

10. Always pepper your speaking with uhs, ums, and y’knows. Otherwise people feel they're being talked down to


Anonymous lex said...

been watching C-SPAN again?

1:14 PM  
Anonymous Joel Mielke said...

Marbles in the mouth. So that's why it was so hard to understand Senator Jesse Helms.

2:56 PM  

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