Wednesday, December 02, 2009

10 Things to Do to Get Back at Your Credit Card Company

Everybody hates credit card companies with good reason. They would screw you in a second, jack up your interest rate, and laugh at your family’s pain. So the other day I saw an online article called Ten Things to do to Get Back at Your Credit Card Company. They were like, 1) Pay your bill on time, 2) Always pay more than the minimum... Come on, what bullshit! Here are ten things that’ll really drive your credit card company crazy:

1. Buy a yacht with your credit card, return it the next day but pocket the miles

2. Convince an Islamic extremist group that VISA makes cartoons of Mohammed

3. Every time you see a credit card application put it in a box with 100 pounds of chicken manure and send it in COD

4. Take out lots of credit cards under fake names and withdraw a million in cash and never give it back

5. Find out where the credit card call center is. Convince your nation’s military to bomb that country

6. Find out who works at the credit card company, follow them to where they park their car, squeeze crazy glue into the door locks

7. Go to the Manhattan office of one of your credit card companies and let a big sack of rabies-infected rats loose in the lobby

8. Go to your credit card’s website and upload pornographic pictures to the “build your own card” feature until it crashes the system

9. Supply the MasterCard company holiday party with e coli infected beef products and spinach

10. Never pay your credit card bill, ever. Die owing millions


Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about not getting a credit card in the first place?

8:30 AM  
Blogger BEEFUS said...

and never ever be able to rent a car, get a loan, stay in a hotel or a thousand other things. face it, they've got us over a barrel. credit cards have gone from convenient to mandatory.

1:56 PM  

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