Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Newest Threat: Ass Bombs

CBS News goes in depth in this video about the ass-bombing of a Saudi Prince. Note that Al Qaeda even produced its own animation of the ass-bombing, which means, among other things, that Al Qaeda has its own animators, or maybe they outsource it to the same people who did the Airborne commercial. Ass-bombing is something we should be scared and worried about. Just like the containers of toothpaste and hair gel, anyone who attempts to board a plane with an ass could potentially be a Qaeda ass-bomber. Get used to having your ass subjected to heightened scrutiny when you fly, and not just by that creepy flight attendant. I would think it would be harder for Al Qaeda to recruit volunteers for an ass-bombing mission, but this guy seems awfully happy––for a guy with a pound of C4 and detonator up his ass. I wonder if they could work this into an episode of "24." Jack Bauer having to reach his hand into––oh, never mind.


3 Comments:

Blogger A J Cowitt said...

I like the security analyst's point that a layered approach to stopping this sort of attack includes "intelligence on the front end." He's not so specific about what's required on the rear end. Perhaps mandatory anal probes for all passengers? You think the security lines are long now...

6:20 PM  
Anonymous Adirondack Bruce said...

Lloyd -- This is truly a remarkable country in which we live, in the midst of the oft-cited and much -feared "interesting times."

However, when life gives one lemons ... make some amusing pictures. It's on me, man. have at it.

Here's the golden opportunity for massive public healthcare in the US. Airport colonoscopies. Yes, Airport colonoscopies. Think of the potential!

Rectal and colon cancer down by 50% in the first month! More open space on flights(and therefore more happy crew and passengers)! Those who make it aboard are drugged and therefore easier to fly with! DHS very happy to comply, using stimulus money to force government healthcare on the masses -- who will listen to Hannity and stop flying, which will in turn be awesome not having some fat, corn-fed load shove his seat into my lap, etc.

I'm sure you see ink hitting blank space right now. have at it, old sport!

1:42 AM  
Anonymous Adirondack Bruce said...

Lloyd -- This is truly a remarkable country in which we live, in the midst of the oft-cited and much-feared "interesting times."

However, when life gives one lemons ... make some amusing pictures. It's on me, man. Have at it.

Here's the golden opportunity for massive public healthcare in the U.S.: Airport colonoscopies. Yes, Airport colonoscopies. Think of the potential!

Rectal and colon cancer down by 50% in the first month! More open space on flights(and therefore more happy crew and passengers)! Those who make it aboard are drugged and therefore easier to fly with! DHS very happy to comply, using stimulus money to force government healthcare on the masses -- who will, of course, listen to Hannity and stop flying, which will in turn be awesome not having some corn-fed American load shove his seat into my chest, etc.

I'm sure you see ink hitting blank space right now. Go for it, old sport!

1:46 AM  

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