Monday, September 24, 2007
Hillary Clinton has a warm laugh.
Bushies' Pool Boy
This reminded me of the summer I got my mom to drive me over to a local country club where word had it that money could be made caddying for rich golfers. We stood around in the parking lot elbowing each other for a chance to haul those big-ass alligator golf bags from the parking lot up to the clubhouse for a couple quarters. Occasionally the men would deign to allow you to carry the monstrous hernia-producing albatrosses around eighteen holes for ten bucks (if you were lucky). A lot of my friends at one time or another worked in the golf industrial complex. I loved it when one of my friends printed bumper stickers that said, "Golfers Suck." Here's an article where the Bush's former Kennebunkport pool boy dishes on his bosses.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Conservative Gets Lathered Over Dangle
This may only be funny to me, but bear with me. I was doing my hourly vanity search of Google to see if anybody is talking about me when I came across a discussion of the mortgage lending crisis on Free Republic, a conservative rant board. A guy with the handle Hydroshock posted my cartoon on the subject, someone else said they enjoyed it, and they were instantly set upon by a Dangle-hater who challenges their conservative bona fides. One good natured writer tries to mollify his rabid brother only to come in for more abuse.(See below the fold)
posted by Hydroshock ("The Constitution should be taken like mountain whiskey -- undiluted and untaxed." - Sam Ervin)
I hope you guys can work it out!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Must Read: Man, This is Scary
Bush to Journalist, "I'm a Nukular War President."
(September 11, 2007) Journalist Leonard Purvis, of the conservative daily, DC Scoop, made over 2000 requests for a one-on-one interview with president Bush, but it wasn't until publication of his August feature "A Messiah named George, the Strategy from God to Save America," that the White House began returning his calls. After titling his upcoming book, "George Bush Greatest Leader Ever Since Jesus," Purvis was given exclusive access to the president for eight hours of interviews in the cozy Woodrow Wilson room at the White House, to discuss his presidency and legacy. It was during this interview, excerpted below, that Bush let slip his intention to use nuclear weapons against Iran...
Purvis: I overheard you a moment ago speaking with someone on the telephone about nuclear weapons and Iran. Were you referring to––
Bush: Nah, I was talking about dukes. I said, 'put up yer dukes, Iran!' That's all I was saying. Didn't your mama teach you not to listen in on other people's phone conversations?
Purvis: I couldn't help it. I'm sure I heard you say, "nukular," in that way you always say it.
Bush: Nah, I was just asking my Air Force commander about his "nukular family." Like "how's your nukular family doin?" sorta thing. That's what you heard.
Purvis: Would you comment on the Air Force flight that accidentally carried six nuclear warheads to Barksdale Air Force base in Louisiana?
Bush: Yeah, I heard about it. Look, when you've got a lot of bombs, it's easy for the nukulars to get mixed in with the conventionals and the like. America has a lot of bombs. I was just telling my Air Force commander that he was doing a heckuva job catching the mistake and to keep up the good work.
Purvis: Isn't Barksdale Air Force base the staging area for shipments of munitions to the Middle East? Was it just by coincidence that the nuclear bombs were flown there? You aren't planning a nuclear strike in the Middle East are you, like maybe against Iran?
Bush: Okay, okay, since yer gonna write about it you might as well get it right. Six years into a 'ministration, a president kinda gets to thinkin,' who am I like? Am I like Taft, or Eisenhower, or maybe Fillmore, or more like Truman? What are the historians gonna say? Sometimes when I'm self-pityin' myself I think they might not remember me at all (laughs uncomfortably.) When my daddy was president, he missed his chance to get Saddam. Not me. I got Saddam. My daddy had chances to do things but he didn't take them. I'm not going to miss my chances. And one of the things I've always wanted to do was blow off a nukular. Ka-Pow! Know what I mean? Haven't you?
Purvis: A nuclear bomb? Are you serious?
Bush: Yeah, big ol' nukular shroom cloud going up over Tehran. Wouldn't that be cool? Point is, I've got the vision and political capital to do it.
Purvis: Have you considered the worldwide ramifications that nuking Iran may have? Have you, for example, discussed your intention with Vladimir Putin of Russia or the leaders of China?
Bush: Lee, I'm the President of the United States, I don't have to talk to anybody. Listen, presidents nukularize things. Putin understands that. And I 'preciate Putin. We 'preciate each other. He'll be cool with it. My mom used to say I was the runt of the litter (laughts). I'm gonna be remembered for blowing up the terrrists with the biggest bomb that anybody's ever seen.
Purvis: Do you see yourself as a nuclear president?
Bush: Nobody wants to be seen as a nukular holocauster, Lee, but I'm a nukular war president! I didn't ask for September the eleventh. I didn't ask the Qaedas in Iran and Saddam and Mahabinabagamajad and those crullers to attack us on that faithful day, they're the ones who––
Purvis: Crullers? Do you mean Mullahs? Iranian Mullahs?
Bush: Mullahs. That's what I said. Point is, I'm listening to my Air Force commanders on the ground, the ones that tell me what I like, and I won't take em off the table.
Purvis: Some have criticized your planning for the occupation in Iraq. Have you made any plans for the aftermath of nuclear attack? A cloud of radioactive dust engulfing the entire region, probably including Israel?
Bush: Huh? Well, I don't think it's gonna be that bad, Lee. Christine Todd Whitman and Rudy Giuliani assure me that the air at ground zero will be safe to breathe, and the oil will be sittin' there right on top.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
I hear that on the Jay Leno show Fred Thompson entered the presidential race. He is considered to be one fine hunk of man by more than the typical 70-something republican female or closeted-gay voter with bald head and glasses. Chris Matthews on Harball devoted a segment to Thompson's sex appeal. And the Times of London got quotes from a bunch of Fred's girlfriends who agree he's a terrific lover--and a gentleman. I dunno, he looks like a cross between a frog and a deflated nutsack to me.
New contest: who can draw the best Fred Thompson, one that really captures his sex appeal? And that is better than this: