This Week's Cartoon

Today's Dangle on Deadline!

Lloyd's Huge Event Week

Next week I'm going to be making some personal appearances outside of my usual one-mile radius with my mighty Kodak Ektographic projector doing the Sly and Snide Comedy Slideshow!


Wednesday, April 28th:
Reading Frenzy presents:
Lloyd Dangle's Sly and Snide Slideshow
7pm
921 SW Oak Street
Portland
Five bucks or free with purchase of a Dangle title
Free beer courtesy of Ninkasi
Note: Did I mention that there will be free beer?

Thursday the 29th:
The Graphic Artists Guild presents:
Lloyd Dangle's Sly and Snide Slideshow
7pm
Jewelbox Theater in Seattle.
2322 Second Avenue in Belltown
Seattle
$10/ students, Guild members, $15/ all others
Please come and support the Guild!

Then it's back to Oakland (within the one-mile radius) on Friday where I'm participating in a group show.




Opening: Friday night the 30th:
6:30pm––? with a late night Sly Slideshow in a room so tiny that it fits about twenty people jammed together intimately.
Deco Art
5495 Claremont
Oakland

Guest Editorial: Why They Call Me Baggie

Here at Troubletown we often give opposing viewpoints an opportunity to air their perspectives. This is a guest editorial by T.E. "Baggie" Daniels:

Why They Call Me Baggie

by T.E. “Baggie” Daniels

I’m crappin’ mad! I’m a white man and I’ve worked all my life. The ice cream company where I lifted thousand pound tubs of vanilla (the only flavor they had) didn’t pay me a penny in “compensation” when I had my herniated scrotum. No, goddamn it, and I didn’t expect it. I still have pain in my balls. Other than that three weeks I was laid up I’ve worked every day of my life. Every penny I’ve earned I made. I’ve never had a special privilege or advantage.

I’m crappin’ mad with all this “spread the wealth” here, “spread the wealth” there that this Muslim socialist president espouses in every single speech while never mentioning the word, “terrorism.” Even though my taxes actually went down, he’s a tax tax tax and spend communist liberal, and my money is going straight into the hands of the poor, who undoubtably deserve to be impoverished because of their general laziness and lack of individual zeal. When are the goon squads going to come to take some of my money and give it to Acorn? I expect any day. But I’ll be ready. I’ll go out in a blaze of gunfire before I live under socialism.

I’m crappin’ mad that I have to help “keep people in their homes.” People who can’t make their mortgage payments are scum. If they didn’t want to be taken advantage of by so-called “predatory lenders” they should’ve refused the enticing and exotic loans. I’ve owned my quonset hut outright since 1972. I’ve watched the mcmansions go up all around and now whenever a foreclosure sign goes up in front of one I laugh. At night I sit on a rock in front of my house with a shotgun since most of my neighbors are now pushing shopping carts up and down the street desperate to feed their families. I love the so-called “widening gap.”

And since when do “poor people” have air-conditioning, plasma TV’s, nice cars, girlfriends with lots of expensive jewelry, pit bulls with diamond collars? Poor people should look like the victims of the dust bowl, not like pimps and millionaires the way they do in Mr. Socialist’s America.

I’m crappin’ mad at the socialized government takeover of health care. Stalin, Hitler, Mao, Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayers, and Hugo Chavez couldn’t have come up with a better plan. I’m not fooled by “the details,” that make it look like the insurance-run system will go on with only minor changes, it’s the slippery slope to Hitler and communism. Thank god I’m going on Medicare in two years so that I can have my hemorrhoids removed and won’t have to live in a socialist system.

I’m crappin’ mad at Muslims. They chop the heads off Christians for fun. Let’s take their oil.

I’m crappin’ mad with the negroes. Since when do white people have to take back seat to negroes who get every advantage imaginable in every conceivable aspect of life and still screw it up? Whenever a negro gets murdered by police around here it’s “candlelight vigil” this, “candlelight vigil” that. When it happens to white people what do you call it? Waco, Texas, and everybody enjoys it as if it was a Mardi Gras party. Wake up people, they’re coming for your guns.

Mr. Muslim is supposed to be a “post racial” president but how can he be when he turns half of government over to Acorn to manage all the special perks for minorities and forcing us to celebrate government set-asides, special “African-American only” contracts and swimming pools, and the violent ghetto culture, also known as Martin Luther King day? I would be happy to have a negro president if it was someone awesome like Clarence Thomas. He’s sensible and distrusts the negro race probably even more than I do.

I’m crappin’ mad at left-wing millionaires like Michael Moore, George Soros, Sean Penn, Susan Sarandon and the Muslim president, who want to “fix America’s problems.” Just because the Democrat party beat the hell out of us in the last election they think they have a right to pass laws that the minority (the good people) don’t like. George W. Bush fixed America’s problems the right way, by giving lots of tax breaks to the wisdom of the free market. Everybody liked it or else they could just shut up because they were stupid anyway.

I’m crappin’ mad at the lamestream media who taunted and abused Sarah Palin without mercy, and called Dick Cheney “Darth Vader” every chance they got, and made George Bush look like an idiot for just doing a good job keeping this country terrorist-free. Gore can suck an egg as far as I’m concerned, all’s fair in Florida. I’m tired of the media saying everything was bad about Bush but everything is wonderful with the Muslim president who won’t even show his birth certificate. And why did Kerry get a free ride on showing his military records but every one of Bush’s lucky placements (he didn’t ask for special treatment) were harped on about endlessly?

I’m crappin’ mad about tolerance. Everybody is talking about tolerance like it’s a good thing. Are we supposed to be “tolerant” of Hugo Chavez? What about Achmadinejad? What about gays who want to ruin the natural law of marriage?

I’m crappin mad about climate change and evolution. Both are unproven theories that we aren’t even allowed to question or we’re called “apologists,” “deniers,” and “knuckle draggers.” Gore’s house is so big he has six giant ballrooms, he keeps the windows open all winter with the heat on, and a swimming pool he keeps heated to 106 degrees. Al Gore doesn’t have a carbon footprint, he has a carbon ASS print, and it’s huge. I hate Al Gore.

I’m crappin’ mad about cool people harassing me and making fun of me for not trying marijuana. I’m mad about medical marijuana, although it might help my restless leg sydrome. Did I mention that Al Gore uses a thousand light bulbs a day because he has special lamps?

I’m crappin’ mad about illegal aliens being called "undocumented workers," especially ones who aren’t digging sewer trenches and cleaning toilets, but are instead driving Cadillac low-riders with funny hydraulic systems and big speakers that they got from welfare and government assistance.

Yeah, I’m crappin’ mad about a lot of things and I don’t like the direction things are going in this once-great (under Bush) nation. Thank god for Sarah Palin who will, I’m convinced, lead us out of this Armageddon with her good looks and intelligence. Michelle Bachman too. She’s a looker. In the meantime, call me Baggie. I’ll be the one with the biggest sign and the lawn chair. Remember, don’t come in my yard. I’m locked and loaded!

This Week's Cartoon: The Real America

Watch Dangle on Deadline on Monday

It takes about five minutes for the goddamn thing to load.

Dangle was interviewed recently about his award-winning show Dangle on Deadline by blogger Perth Amboy. Here are excerpts:


Perth Amboy: What is Dangle on Deadline?

Dangle: It's a unique and fascinating window into the soul of a cartoonist in his most private moments.

Perth Amboy: Does your chair ever squeak or do you sniffle on air?

Dangle: All the time, that's what makes the show so real.

Perth Amboy: Would you say, then, that your show is a "warts and all" view of the cartoonists work?

Dangle: Absolutely, sometimes my hair is a mess, I have bags under my eyes, and sirens and gunshots go off in the background. You just never know what might happen.


Perth Amboy: Who watches your show?

Dangle: Insomniacs, women who work out early in the morning, comics fanatics from Europe and Japan, right wing lurkers, and others. It cuts right across the board.

Perth Amboy: If you had one hope for the show, what would it be?
I assume that the intense interest in Dangle on Deadline and the massive viewership will one day catch of eye of producers who will give me my own Daily Show, or put my family on Wife Swap. That would be my hope.

Perth Amboy: I know you hit your 1000th cartoon recently and on your show you drank so much champagne that you almost threw up on a live webcast. How does it feel to have 1000 under your belt.

Dangle: It's exhilarating, Perth. Thanks for asking.

Perth Amboy: How and when do you get your ideas?

Dangle: Tune in to Dangle on Deadline to find out. I start every show racking my brains for an idea. If I don't get one in the first thirty minutes of the show I'm in real trouble getting the drawing done before the witching hour when the clock strikes eight. Viewers get to cheer me on as I power my way through the creative process under extreme duress.

Perth Amboy: That sound absolutely frightening.

Dangle: It's naked shrieking terror, Dave, murder. It's murder.

Perth Amboy: That's Perth.

Dangle: What?

Perth Amboy: You called me Dave.

Dangle: No I didn't. You'd better get your ears checked.

Victoria Jackson Tea Party Anthem

I watched this yesterday and couldn't stop thinking about it. It's very funny and by funny I mean peculiar. Victoria Jackson's not an unfunny comedian, it's good that the right finally has one, Dennis Miller and Chuck Norris notwithstanding because Dennis Miller just sucks, and Norris is only funny in his early movies when he voice sounds lispy and gay and then he goes downhill. She sang this at a big tea party rally and it's become their anthem, which is perfect.

She sings this blistering indictment of our president in a timorous, ditzy voice, which is her shtick I guess, but it's perfect. It captures the insecurity of the teabag movement and the powerless feeling they have that they are "squeaking like mice" and nobody but Hannity gets it or "understands history." True, the first part, no matter how much airtime they get on Keith Olbermann.

Then I love it the way she goes through the whole paranoid litany of reasons why Obama is a communist, Reverend Wright, Acorn, etc., and, all compiled together, it's hilarious! Why didn't Media Matters or TPM do that? Is that weak stuff all they can come up with? And come on guys, you believe it?

So then I started thinking that she's making fun of the teabaggers and they don't know it, except that I don't really believe that's true. I'm just so tired of teabaggers and hearing about tea parties. Blah, blah, blah. I think we should call them either "Delusionaries" or the "Delusia Movement." Anything but tea party! I'm so sick of hearing about it! Can you come up with some better names we can plug in instead?

Here's a sketch of a famous chef...just one of my million little projects (I should post more of them except many are top secret). It looks like I knocked it out in two seconds, but I labored over it in fifteen variations before I finally nailed one that was sufficiently primitive but that still captured his look. Nuts, huh?

Forbes Mentions Troubletown

"Troubletown" has become become such a part of common English usage that even Forbes.com mentions the name of my comic strip in an article. Of course every band has a song called Troubletown--I prove it by playing them every week on my famous show, Dangle on Deadline. It's evident that the comic strip is penetrating the psyche of America even if nobody knows it.

Today's Sketches and Campfire Stories

I was art directed on this one by a half dozen eight-year-old boys.



This dude, Scott, told a story about camping in Yosemite. They were out in the back country in a huge meadow with nobody around. When they came back from a day hike they discovered that someone had come and put up a tent ten feet from theirs, even though there was plenty of room elsewhere.

After Scott's party saw how lamely the newbies strung up their food, they decided, "Shit, we'd better move."

So they pulled up stakes and went way across the field and set up camp there. Sure enough, the next morning the interlopers' gear and supplies were spread all over in a sixty foot circumference around their tent.

Scott told them, "We have some extra food if you need it."

They said, "No thanks, the rest of us should be coming along in a little while. They'll have plenty of food."

"The rest of you?"

"Yeah, it's our class. We're backpack instructors."

This Week's Cartoon...Confederate History Month

This Week's Troubletown

Not the Brightest Bulb in the Democrats' Lineup